This ad is a walking strategy. Don't mistake strategy for execution. It's paper thin right now. Taking the product shot out, that would be the worst thing you could do. No one is doing you any favors by saying this is good. You need to hear this...that ad is really bad.

About the AD, it's really weak. What type face is that? Garamond, Baskerville, Times? It's set bad and the kerning is awful. The art literally looks like it took you 5 minutes to create in MS Word. This won't present well in your book.

Your a copywriter I'm guessing? You need to find an Art Director to work with, if anything to do a decent job laying out your ad. You're not going to find a job without better concepts and better art and I doubt you can do either alone. Find a partner and start working with them.