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Guest commenter's picture

touching new heights....jump from it

Guest commenter
matks's picture

Cool thought, yet these symbols on the tag don't express it at all.

matks
Activity Score 476
Advertising
Amsterdam, The Netherlands's picture

I don't need a shirt for that... ;)

Amsterdam, The ...
M.V.'s picture

Thanks guys, every comment is appreciated!
By the way, these are the original, more compact layouts:
http://www.urbaneshirts.com/ad1.jpg
http://www.urbaneshirts.com/ad2.jpg

M.V.
DengueFever's picture

I like it

DengueFever
Activity Score 148
drsworld's picture

AXE positioning

drsworld
Activity Score 14
sneakyhands's picture

i'd say it's more TAG positioning, just because of the warning labels. warning our shirts get you raped!

sneakyhands
Activity Score 1857
Copywriter
Guest commenter's picture

I'm not feeling it and here's why. the tag is an interesting idea, but the icon could be a little more clear...maybe the woman back slapping the guy...something like that. Also the type needs some work. There's no real pop to it. The LEGAL NOTICE doesn't feel like the headline says, there has to be several ways to get this across better. The body copy needs some major work, there are huge rivers (if your not sure what that is, try to look it up - Here's a clue, its your Hyphen and justification settings in your type panel). Your quotation marks and not real quote marks, they are inch marks. Also they should hang off the paragraph....I'm a type purist...but you have to treat type with the same care that you treat the image. good luck

Guest commenter
M.V.'s picture

Well, I have to say I'm more than happy that our ads got posted on this site as we can get comments from industry experts. Make no mistake, this is a low-budget online ad made-up and created by non-professionals. Your comments on the fine details (typing etc.) are really useful, we have a lot to learn.
[I personally find the compact layouts - posted above - better, which hopefully can circulate via e-mails or on private blogs among other "funny (?) ads".]

M.V.
gtbernstein's picture

Really you have two concepts going on here. The concept on the tag and the concept of the legal Department disclaimer. Unfortunately, when they are combined, it really just ends up missing altogether.

The other ad is conceptually a little tighter because there is only one idea in it.

They both seem a little farfetched. You can't just tell someone these shirts will make you sexy, cool, desired, whatever and expect people to believe it. You have to build that brand personality.

Unfortunately, I have to admit they both fail for me.

gtbernstein
Activity Score 51
Creative Director at Guns & Butter
auuu's picture

For a non-professional is it a good try, the idea could have been executed better
especially visualy

auuu
shimna azeez's picture

I SMELL AXE.
AND ITS MORE COPY BASED. YOU WON'T GET IT UNTILL U READ THE COPY.

shimna azeez
Activity Score 6
shimna azeez's picture

I SMELL AXE.
AND ITS MORE COPY BASED. YOU WON'T GET IT UNTILL U READ THE COPY.

shimna azeez
Activity Score 6
Guest commenter's picture

the simbols should explain the idea.

Guest commenter
Tanuj Lakhina's picture

Interesting concept and as others mentioned the image doesn't show the sexual aspect of the ad which are I think its "unique" point.
Although the second ad is much better and clearer.
Good job.

Tanuj Lakhina
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