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Kateter's picture

David maybe. explain Lincoln.

;-)

Kateter
Activity Score 2029
Copywriter
picturejockey's picture

The visual is good but the copy is really weak
http://www.navinharish.org

picturejockey
Activity Score 658
Creative Director at RK Swamy BBDO |

http://www.picturejockey.com
View Navin Harish's profile on LinkedIn

joanna macaque's picture

Just look at those legs .... two baseball bats. Homerun!

joanna macaque
Activity Score 30
Singapore
huzyisundead's picture

True true. I always have the same problem. Coming up with a simple and nice copy for a strong visual.

huzyisundead
Activity Score 107
Copywriter
picky2's picture

why is the copy weak? I think it just does what it has to do: make the idea communicate the message/concept in the best/clearest way. It doesn't have to be a poem right? I like the idea!

picky2
Activity Score 280
Copywriter
brain123's picture

The copy is weak because it is the same thing you see in the picture. Plus is a generic statement, not a concept.
Just my humble opinion.

brain123
Activity Score 830
Creative Director at Crea DRAFTFCB
smudge23's picture

this would work if it naturally happened to real statues. But it doesn't.

smudge23
Activity Score 171
Copywriter
Axxl's picture

That's the point. I agree.

Axxl
Activity Score 208
Art Director at Jung von Matt, Hamburg
krousteau's picture

Woudn't have been a strong idea, if it showed something, that actually happens to statues, would it.
"Oh look, they show a statue like it is. Revolutionary, eh?"

In German the line is better, i think. Just as plain as in the english translation, but it sounds better: "Wer sich nicht bewegt, wird dick."

krousteau
Activity Score 3
Germany
Andal's picture

Your comment it's just stupid. C'mon, this advertisment we are in!. Plasticine bunnies don't go jumping all over New York, no gorilla plays the drums, there are no living creatures in a coca cola machine, etc.
__________________________
Smart and Funny Signature.

Andal
Activity Score 863
Copywriter |

_______________
It's so easy to critic.

credosian's picture

reeeeeeally weak copy.

this could have been an awesome ad@!

credosian
Activity Score 273
Copywriter at Climb Media |

Be awesome :)

Lol's picture

Not bad, not amazing. Maube if the execution was better it could have been really nice.

Lol
Activity Score 127
Copywriter
otto54's picture

Please stop using statues for gym, sport, athletic centre...
And above all, that's very bad...

otto54
Activity Score 381
Art Director |

----------------------------
Advertising pass, pasta remain...

jimkuz's picture

I THINK THIS AD IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS.
1. Attention-getting, curiosity-inducing visual.

2. Ultra thought-provoking.
I think most people think the David statue is a pretty great example
of a human male body. And to see him blimped-out is not cool.

3. Copy is laser accurate.
It's like I tell my kids, bad behavior equals bad reward.

4. How brilliant to use a statue - of course they don't move.

Only negative for me is the groin area - sorta gross.

See actual David statue at:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Michelangelos_David.jpg

jimkuz
Activity Score 412
Graphic Designer at Freelance
Kateter's picture

David maybe. explain Lincoln.

;-)

Kateter
Activity Score 2029
Copywriter
jakartatung's picture

Hahahahaha largesse of a sourgraping copycat

jakartatung
Activity Score 94
Client Servicing at Advis
Don Draper's picture

I think this is a good idea but the art on the pedestal looks really cheesy. That information did not have be in that spot on the page. It's a shame because they could have done without it and put the info elsewhere on the page. And now, back to my smoking.

Don Draper
Activity Score 144
Creative Director
Copykid's picture

I agree with Bontjas and Dzsoi. Let the artistique copywriters give better suggestions instead of writing reeeeeeally weak copy. How should you do it? Give me just one better line...

Copykid
Activity Score 95
Copywriter
miko1aj's picture

Great post production; idea - not bad, but it was many times (reminds fat marylin manson for exmpl); typography - terrible.

miko1aj
Activity Score 3086
mikelite's picture

this is all execution. no idea. end of story.

mikelite
Activity Score 1031
Copywriter |

http://mikelightman.com/blog

zoolo's picture

it's not the end of story.
this is the idea: statues don't move. so fat David is an example of what could happen if you don't move.
what are you all complaining about? it's a straight idea, looks kinda funny, copy is to the point. not a cannes-winner, but still a good ad/idea. But typography is truly terrible.

zoolo
Activity Score 20
juliangray's picture

the problem is that the artwork is mediocre and the copy is way to explicative. the copy says everything to the point that nothing is closing up in the head.

Is a preliminar line "what we need to say" what is commonly writen as it comes before thinking the copy itself.

-What do we need to say with this image?
-That if you dont move, you get fat.
-Lets just put that and go to lunch
-Im in the mood for some sauerkraut...

Everyone is saying that the line needs work, because it has no work at all.

Too bad, because they wasted a good idea. Better lighting, a little more drama in the tones, a copy written with care that lets you close up the ad in your head, and this would be great.

juliangray
Activity Score 987
Art Director
habeel2004's picture

if you dont move you will have an awfully small penis....
every one will start running... lol

habeel2004
Activity Score 99
Graphic Designer |

Ali Behzad

zoolo's picture

not sure about that, juliangray, i understand you point. but if this ad/poster is made not for advertisers, but for consumers, it needs a fast and clear explanation/copy. Your're right if it were for award jurys only.

zoolo
Activity Score 20
juliangray's picture

direct and linear comunication are not synonyms... even with just placing a "exercise while you can" it has a better impact that the current copy. and doesnt demand the reader..

juliangray
Activity Score 987
Art Director
melocoton's picture

Same idea was executed in Uruguay last year, at the entrance of the Uruguayan Cardiological Congress, next to a real David statue.

http://www.montevideo.com.uy/galerianot_36717_1.html

http://www.montevideo.com.uy/nnoticias_36717_1.html

This is much better executed, but it´s the same idea

melocoton
Activity Score 987
Art Director
Disco Munky's picture

Don't know why grown ups are being so dim witted here but this is shit.

"If you don't move you get fat"...is that really a line?

Not only is it barely relevant but to use statues in the visual is stupid.

And all this to get me to be more active?

It's no fuking surprise that they lost the war.

Disco Munky
Activity Score 3890
Art Director |

Doin' it for the points

instinctive traveller's picture

And you are being awfully grown up with your comments? http://upthechimney.blogspot.com

instinctive tra...
Activity Score 149
Copywriter
Disco Munky's picture

Was about to swear at you but then I had a look at your blog site.

Way to go, keep it up. When you're done come back for some grilled cheese.

Retard.

Disco Munky
Activity Score 3890
Art Director |

Doin' it for the points

Eric Pires's picture

Nice but what I see is exactly what I read: the copy is useless here, should have been different.

Eric Pires
Activity Score 6
zoolo's picture

Hey Queen of Slim: "It's no fuking surprise that they lost the war."?
Thats quite grown up.

zoolo
Activity Score 20
me thinks's picture

The copy is clear, concise and to the point. Love it. Cheers

me thinks
Activity Score 722
Copywriter
temsamani's picture

I don't think the copy's good. As mentioned before the copy explains what the visual is showing. We've been walked all the way through the ad so to speak whereas I believe there should be a bigger gap for us to figure out. It leaves no room for that self-reward...

From the top of my head. The copy could be - 'move more'.

Many commented on the copy. Better suggestions?

temsamani
Activity Score 4
Other
darrenalawi's picture

Wicked and really funny, the copy isn't the priority in the message, the statue is perfect.

darrenalawi
Activity Score 146
Web Designer/Developer at Barrington Sports |

Darren Alawi
Creative web & brand designer
http://www.darrenalawi.com/blog

joeBk's picture

good...and funny..why
have to think so much about ...copy or not...what is the point...
if thay know this is "copy" do you think that thay will show you here...??

joeBk
Activity Score 85
art Director
doubleturban's picture

Moronic, idiotic. Eat your stinking anus-face.

doubleturban
Activity Score 118
Planner at Ogilvy New Delhi
Copykid's picture

Excercise while you can is good. Thnks Dzsoi! Good thinking.

Copykid
Activity Score 95
Copywriter
doubleturban's picture

Fatso

doubleturban
Activity Score 118
Planner at Ogilvy New Delhi
ispeak's picture

Couple of observations:

1. Immobility, in other words 'not moving' necessarily doesnt make a person fat, there are many more reasons which add to those extra pounds.

2. Making a mockery of people who are fat is not entirely a positive approach, although the pro's would jump on this saying that the visual is 'shocking' / 'moving' etc and that adds to the reaction. But looking at it from the realists POV it would rather throw sensitive people into a deeper depression than ever. Hence it’s rather important to take into consideration the sensitivity issue rather than the shock value. I am pretty sure this could have been cracked with a little more thinking.

3. What are we trying to communicate? Is it a campaign against obesity? Or in support of fitness and health? Or in support of sports and activity? There needs to be a linear thought in this which helps communicate the objective effortlessly.

4. Finally, copy is too amateurish, seems like a translation job rather than a well written and crafted copy.

ispeak
Activity Score 90
Boris's picture

Nice and simple. Don't over think please.

Boris
Activity Score 98
Copywriter
malaysian tomboy's picture

This discussing is taking so LONG. Shut up, Fleas!

malaysian tomboy
Activity Score 86
Taipei
ziyad_pa's picture

I Like It!!

ziyad_pa
Activity Score 105
Graphic Designer |

www.ziyadpa.com

Guest's picture

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Guest
Guest's picture

Hello,
My pleasure to introduce to you my company and its product, We are a major distributor of phones and accersories, all around the world. We are commited to set the world on storm with all kind of phones ranging from nokia through samsung and quality motorola, a trial will always convince you. stop by and do your shopping now,at viewpoint_phones@yahoo.com
Regards
James collins

Guest
adgoodie's picture

ALL OF YOU SAYING THE COPY IS GOOD, CLEARLY AREN'T COPYWRITERS. EVERY COPYWRITER KNOWS THAT SEE AND SAY COPY IS TERRIBLE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY "FAT" IN THE LINE AT ALL. SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS "KEEP ACTIVE" OR " DON'T LET YOURSELF GO. MOVE." SAY IT ALL WITHOUT HAVING TO SAY "YOU'LL GET FAT" DIRECTLY. GET IT?

adgoodie
Activity Score 192
Copywriter
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