I suggested some lines for someone's Listerine campaign that were never used. Decided to use them myself, because I thought they were hilarious. Just imagine they're different flavors because I did these in a rush.
Strategy is completely the opposite of Listerine's apologetic advertising. A kind of "I don't give a shit if you think it burns" approach, with the burn as an indicator of efficacy.
P.S. - Credit to Shawali for the "If germs could talk" line.